Public apology for my accidently revealed post “The end of the Animenz project”

It’s hard to explain. Really.

To begin with: This post is especially written for the few people who saw my embarassing “The end” post, which I have already deleted.

Let me start from the beginning:

There were some times, where I wasn’t feeling well. There were those times, where I am just tired of everything, hours for hours lying melancholy on the bed and doing nothing at all.

But that was half a year ago – and I’ve written the post back then.

At that time, I really had a really hard time, where I simply wished to disappear from the earth.

And that’s when I wrote that post. I fantasized a post of my own end,  some sort of a faked testament. In retrospective view, this was the dumbest things I’ve ever done.

This wasn’t suposed to be published. It should never become public. It should be deleted immediately.

Thus, when I was browsing my drafts folder three days ago, I discovered that post again and read it. I… was genuiely shocked what I wrote back then. This is just seriously wrong. I want to move it to the trash but I misclicked and it was accidently published.

I realized it a bit late and despite deleting the post soon after, there were still some people who read it.

To everyone, who thought I am closing my blog forever: It’s a serious misunderstanding and I am really sorry if I worried you.

I didn’t know how many people actually read that post but it must be really a shock for you.

So let’s just forget that little unfortunate incident and look forward for the next day.

(To everyone who’ve read this far and don’t have a clue what’s going on here: just disregard the whole post)


"aah.... it's truly... a beautiful world..."

20 thoughts on “Public apology for my accidently revealed post “The end of the Animenz project”

  1. Hi. I’m a new guy here for a few weeks.
    I’ve read that post in Google Reader and that was really shocked me. The link to that post from GR can’t be opened, so I think that was just a accident. And now all these are clear.:)
    Well, this reply may be my first bit of text left as comment in English. I’m a Chinese with poor English… So please forgive the inaccurate or inappropriate statement if I made any here.
    I’m a layman in music and just love listening to music. I came to here and found it’s great while I Google for some midi files, and found your video on YouTube are also excellent. Thanks for your transcripts, and further making them to midi file and videos~

  2. Okay, what you did was truly stupid. Twice. For having written this fake testament, then for having published it. But welcome back 🙂 I hope your dark thoughts vanished (well, most of them).
    Yesterday, we were talking about your “near death” with Josh. He thought your account was hacked. As for me, I completely believed you.
    P. S. – Please provide an e-mail address! When I want to contact you (for example, with this message), I don’t want my post to be visible by anybody!

    • @ Jill-Jênn, Crisu, MILA and everyone else here:
      okay, after reading your comments, there’s really one thing left for me to say:
      I am sooo sorry! T___T
      Honestly, I never would have thought that it would cause such a confusion by just one wrong mouseclick (in the wordpress layout, the “move to trash” button is right next to the “publish” button.)
      Yes I know, writing that post in the first place was more than dumb, and I truly apologize for that. There was a period where things just didn’t went well for me. I spend days and days blaming myself and my desperate condition. (something private happened and stuff…)
      But that was half a year ago.
      So again: I am sorry for playing with your feelings with that post. I don’t really know how I can make up for it….

      Lastly, I added my e-mail adress on my “about” page.
      I hope you guys would forgive me ;__;

  3. Aah. x.x Because I got really confused when you posted the Dantalian OP post just prior to this one. Well, accidents are accidents. The reason why many of us saw it is because of our subscriptions; I get emailed instantly of new posts by you. And then when I visited to see the post missing, I wonder if that was just a clever way of using the email system to your advantage, so you could say your farewells to the few people you know did subscribe … and not have to leave such a message out in public.

    Well I won’t add to your scolding, but I’m very glad to hear you’re okay and are still transcribing. I agree with Jill about having an email address — a forwarding address at least, so we have a place to point messages to. Until now, I’ve been using the private messages on your MyAnimeList account.

  4. Phew. I’m more relieved that you are still with us than upset that you “tricked” us. 🙂
    Your piano transcriptions are always a pleasure to listen to, even if they are sparse. Keep up the good work.

  5. I’m happy that you’re okay. I regretted not giving you the kudos you deserve, so: I’ve been following you for a while now, and I really enjoy your work.

    Don’t feel too bad. Mistakes happen. It’s an interesting bit about the internet that it’s easy to put things up that are immediately out of your control. Nothing ever disappears from the internet… :/

  6. It’s great that it just a misunderstanding but it’s fine since everyone has their own bad day, you’re not alone.

  7. I KNEW IT! I knew that such an immensely talented person could also do some immensely dumb shit 🙂
    Haven’t watched any anime show for a long time but I still listen to your piano transcriptions in hope of finding some good music. Keep up! — loading greatness.

  8. I almost cried when I saw that post (in my e-mail inbox of which I subscribed it).
    Then, when I carefully read it, I realized that the name of the disease was repleaced with asterisks, which can possibly mean 3 things:
    1. You don’t know or forgot the name of the disease.
    2. You don’t want to say the name.
    3. And the one who slightly reliefs me, that you made up a disease and didn’t name it.
    I discussed it with my mother, and she said that you possibly are still alive. I thought it through a few times, considering that the post went missing on your blog instantly, and found a possible cause which is that someone else (for example your sister) got a hold of your blog and posted it as a joke and then you deleted it.
    Then I thought that since the people around me say that German people are generally careful, it is not quite possible to be a joke if such is done by a German person. It might mean that you want only the people who subscribed your blog to know that you’re leaving.
    My mind was filled with unstableness.
    I decided to record all useful information in your blog onto my USB drive, because I consider that your blog might be deleted after being left unattended for a while, also, because that I want to hold on to a good musician like you. This job takes a lot of work, but I thought that it’s worth it.

    Today, I feel really happy, and you know why.

  9. Hehe. I was a bit in shock when read “The End..” post, courtesy of Google Reader.. I also thought that the asterisks was weird, especially where it was used for two items “where my **** will *****”” – the second one seemed unnecessary.

    Regardless of the shock the post caused among the readers, I think it’s a good thing that a year ago you were able to (hopefully?) to release your emotions by writing the fictional piece.

  10. God bless….
    I’m extraordinarily glad to see an overwhelming Animenz living on the same earth as me.
    Best wishes for you and your project.
    Thanks for your transcriptions all the time.

  11. What a relief! Even though it was an accident, it did cause me to think a little about my own life, so it wasn’t all bad.

    BTW, that post is forever immortalized in my Google Reader!

  12. When I read this post, I’m like, what? What’s happening?
    Despite saying, ‘To everyone who’ve read this far and don’t have a clue what’s going on here: just disregard the whole post’, my curiosity got the better of me, and I immediately wanted to read what got everyone so worked up. Jeez man, you shouldn’t have put that, because it made me want to read it more than ever. I know curiosity killed the cat, but whatever…I wasn’t thinking of that.

    So, then, I remembered suddenly that I subscribed to you in my google reader (I don’t really check it often). And then I hurry over to google reader, despite my bad internet connection, and I started reading it avidly, because I was curious.

    Great you’re still with us, and I hope your emo thoughts are gone, yeah?
    Remember, we’re still here.

  13. Well, I’ve sent you a Youtube message already, but I’ll just leave this here as a matter of public record (and talk like a shounen hero for a bit)– I don’t think I could say with confidence that your powers are less than mine 😀 So don’t you disappear, OK?

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